This makes me angry:
“You seem to be in a respectable mood once again, in spite of having scored a little lower today. It’s probable that it is of no great concern, but don’t lose sight of the fact that you have the power to control your emotions. Look after yourself and be sure that there’s no more downward movement.” – Moodscope quote, under daily score and chart
I cannot control my emotions. What nonsense is that? “Be sure that there’s no more downward movement.” What the hell? I’m not dieting to avoid a stroke or something. There is no world in which moods should be described as ‘respectable’ or ‘not respectable’. Guilt over my emotions is a key trigger for negative emotions! Guilt is my primary challenge! You are not helping, Moodscope!
How come down emotions are terrible anyway?
Why do I have to be militant about my emotions?
Why is this suggesting I should be happy most of the time?
Why am I doing this?
No, I’m not anymore. I am de-favourite-ing it, and taking myself off the mailing list. I can’t take it anymore. This is not a tracking system I like. This has become demoralizing.
I don’t like trying to fit my emotions into a 4-part scale, nor into box categories that see fit to distinguish between ‘distressed’ and ‘nervous’, ‘alert’ and ‘attentive’, but don’t bother to add options such as ‘content’, ‘happy’, ‘joyful’, ‘relieved’, ‘loving’, or ‘lonely’.
Allow me to refer you once again to Super Better. No judgment, no negative scores. Participate and you get points, which are only there to try to make it into a game anyway. The point is only to think about activities which help keep you going, or keep you sticking to whatever it is you are trying to do. It’s not about constant vigilance, but about making recovery more light hearted and offering tricks and ideas for recovery steps.
Moodscope is trying to bully me into a perpetual state of cheeriness. I respect and appreciate its attempt to create a monitoring system for mood that is online, free, and encourages daily tracking. But it has failed. Its pep talks are shame-mongering admonishments, and the emotions it chooses to rate represent a narrow, largely negative spread (ahem, scope). It is a wolf in sheep’s clothing, a strong undercurrent of worrying biases towards a fairytale version of ‘normalcy’. Boo hiss.