The Recipe

The recipe for a Christina is a complicated, but worthy endeavour. First, take a ball of energy almost 6 feet tall. Cram this energy-mass into a reasonably sized boiler. Chop 12 ounces of citalopram into matchsticks, and add before the energy comes to a boil. This will temper the energy into a palatable, and reasonable, flavour. It will prevent over-boiling, and fill the kitchen with a lovely scent of apathy.

Next, add a tablespoon of buproprion. Buproprion has a zesty, uplifting taste that will return some of the buzzing purple light to the boiling energy. The purple colour is a result of the blue light given off by anxiety and the red light given off by panic. These return in a very small quantity, and provide a je ne sais quoi that the citalopram would have otherwise removed.

Add a satchel of quetiapine. Boil for 1 hour. The sparkling and sizzling will reduce to a nice, sleepy gurgle as the energy thickens. Remove the satchel to prevent a comatose result.

Carefully pour the syrupy liquid into a shallow pan. Place in a therapy group for the remainder of the afternoon. The Christina should become taffy-like. Place in the freezer for extra cooling, if required.

Serve the tamed Christina over ice cream or on pudding. Enjoy!

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